The Shadow That Burped

My shadows have always been a little blurry. It's like there's a shadow of my shadow on the wall or the floor. Usually my shadow-double will only whisper derogatory comments about me. Something like: "Look at you. You can't even cast a substantial shadow. You might as well not even exist." Every now and then, if I'm facing away from my shadow, and catch it out of the corner of my eye, I think I can see it flipping me off. But last week was the first time I ever heard it burp. And it's been bothering me ever since. Oddly enough, I never gave a second thought to the fact that it could speak without lungs and vocal cords. It didn't even disturb me that it could give me the finger despite the fact that neither of my hands were in a position that would cast such a shadow. I was a little freaked out the time I turned on the light and saw it 'humping' my other shadow. But the burp. The burp was upsetting. Why would a shadow burp? Wouldn't it have to eat or drink to have the urge to burp? And what does a shadow eat? Shadow food? I'm going to start watching the shadows my food makes when I'm eating. Maybe I can catch my shadow-double feeding on it. If I only eat in total darkness, or stop eating altogether, there's a chance I can starve it to death. The burp really disturbed me.